I think I died a long time ago.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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