you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
