Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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