uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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