I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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