They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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