I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
