the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize