can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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