p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
