I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
