do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
