just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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