then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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