Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
