I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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