How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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