So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
