sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize