Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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