you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
