We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
