It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
