my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
