i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
