He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
