By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
