This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
