Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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