I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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