Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I came so hard my ears popped.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
