On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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