I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
