My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
