he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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