so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize