redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
