I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize