and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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