guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
