We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
