So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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