...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
