Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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