Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
