i just made my gag reflex go away.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize