i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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