Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
