is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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