It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize