At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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