Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize