Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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