New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
