Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
