is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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