I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
