Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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