I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
