That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
