I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
