I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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