Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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