obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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